Drop in the Ocean
by Schmidge
Summary: Set after Stefan almost drives Elena off Wickery Bridge and she sends Jeremy to Denver. Delena fic.
1. Chapter 1

**I was watching old episodes of TVD and I always wanted Damon and Elena together. This is set in season 3 after Stefan almost drives Elena off Wickery Bridge and she sends Jeremy to Denver.**

**I don't own anything.**

_Dear Diary,_

_Things have been so screwed up lately. We spent the whole summer trying to find Stefan to bring him home, and now he is back and he is no longer under Klaus' compulsion, but he is no longer the Stefan that I fell in love with. I can't believe what he put me through tonight just to get to Klaus. To make matters worse I told Damon that he couldn't kiss me again when all I wanted was for him to take me into his arms and do exactly that. He has always been there for me even when Stefan wasn't. I don't know what to do. I still love Stefan, but it's not the same as it was before. I don't want to be like Katherine, I don't want to come between them as brothers, but no matter what I do one of them is going to get hurt. Stefan told me tonight that he lost me when he left town, maybe he was right. _

_I can't help but think how alone I am now that Jeremy left for Denver, Damon compelled him to go to keep him safe and Bonnie was so mad at me for it. I have no one left. It hurts so much to send Jeremy away, but I can't lose him for real. My family is dead, he is the only one left and I have to keep him safe. Ric will be here still, I am so thankful for him; he didn't have to take on what he did for us._

_I stood on Wickery Bridge for a long time after Matt left, he helped me say goodbye to the old me, the girl who went over the bridge with her parents. I just kept thinking "what do I do now?" I'm so lost. I started walking around afterwards and ended up in front of the boarding house, but I couldn't bring myself to go up to the door. I know what I want, but I also know what it means. Stefan told me he doesn't care what I think anymore, but I know he still cares and if I go to Damon like I want to I'm afraid we will lose Stefan again after everything that we went through to get him back. I can't put Damon through that I can't be the reason he loses his brother. _

_Thoughts of Damon consume my mind. What I feel for him isn't the same as what I once felt for Stefan. He got under my skin, and ignited a fire inside of me. He's passionate and dangerous and he lets me see the human part of him. I feel safe with him. I used to feel that way with Stefan, but things have changed with him. Damon kept me going after Stefan left, but I think I loved him before that, I just couldn't admit it to myself, because I was with Stefan and I was afraid of being like Katherine. I remember wanting to say it to him and chickening out when he was lying in bed dying of a werewolf bite and he told me he loved me. The best I could give him was telling him I like him now just the way he was, and then I kissed him. I might have said the word if Katherine hadn't interrupted with the cure, although I have never been so happy to see that woman when I saw what she was holding. I don't know if I could have handled losing Damon. _

_I wish that I was strong enough to just go over there and be honest about what I want. I am such a hypocrite. I'm always going on and on about honesty, and I can barely be honest with myself. Damon said it was right just not right now, but why can't it be right now? I want to be with him. I want him to hold me in his arms and make all the bad things in my life go away, even if it's just to make me forget for a little while. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Damon, he has saved me so many times, and I hate that I can't just go to him. What would happen if I just said screw it and went over there right now and threw my arms around him and just allowed myself to be happy for the first time in months? Would everything really fall apart just because I was happy? Would Stefan turn into the ripper again if he saw that I was in love with his brother? Why am do I always have to be so worried about everyone else? Why can't I be selfish for once in my life? _

Elena stares down at her journal looking at the words written on the page in front of her. There it was. The answer was in front of her the whole time. She was in love with Damon Salvatore. She looked at her phone lying beside her on the window seat. She wanted to call him, wanted to hear his voice after the last few terrible days she has been through. She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts to his name and pulled up his number, her thumb hovering over the send button. If she called him and asked him to come over he would, she knew that much. She put the phone down and stood up from her spot on the window seat, wandering over to her bed she grabbed her teddy bear and curled into a ball and let the sobs overtake her body. Once she started crying she couldn't stop. She felt so alone, she just sent the only family she had left to Denver, and all she wanted was to find comfort in the arms of the man she loved, but he didn't know she loved him, and she couldn't tell him, because she was afraid of what it would do to his relationship with his brother.

She heard her phone start to buzz from its place on the window seat but she didn't care right now and just let it go to voicemail. It started to buzz again a couple minutes later and she thought maybe she should answer it in case it was an emergency, but she really couldn't deal with anything else right now so she just laid there and continued to cry.

A breeze from the open window brushed her bare shoulders as the tears rolled silently down her cheeks, and she shivered slightly.

"Elena?"

She startled and tried to wipe the evidence of her tears from her face before turning to face those piercing blue eyes.

"I tried to call but you didn't answer. I wanted to make sure you were ok after everything that has happened the past couple days." Damon said making his way over to the bed where Elena still sat with her back to him.

He sat down and touched her shoulder, and she finally turned towards him and looked up into his eyes. There was so much love and tenderness in them that she broke down all over again and collapsed into his chest. Damon wrapped his arms around her and held her to him while she buried her face in his shirt and cried.

"It'll be ok. Jeremy won't be gone forever. We'll find a way to beat Klaus and he'll be able to come home. I know it's hard but we did the right thing to keep him safe."

"I'm all alone Damon. My parents, Jenna, John, they're all dead. Jeremy was the only family I had left."

"Hey, you're not alone. You have your friends, you have Ric, and you have me Elena. I meant it when I promised I would never leave you again," he said kissing the top of her head and rocking back and forth with her in his arms to try and calm her down.

Elena sniffled and looked up into his eyes. They told her what his mouth had wanted to say again but didn't, that he loved her. She wanted to hear him say it, wanted to tell him that she loved him too, wanted to feel his mouth on hers again.

"Will you stay with me tonight?"

Damon nodded and pulled back the sheets tucking her in, before he removed his leather jacket and his shoes. He climbed in beside her wrapping his arms around her as she snuggled into his chest. He placed a soft kiss in her hair and stroked her back until he heard her breath even out and he knew she had finally fallen asleep.

"I love you Elena," he whispered, and saw her smile slightly in her sleep as she snuggled closer to him.

Damon watched her a little while longer before he closed his eyes and let himself drift off to sleep with the love of his life in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Once again I don't own anything. Thank you for the reviews of the last chapter. They make my day.**

The sunlight shown through the window as Elena woke up in Damon's arms. She couldn't remember the last time she had slept that good. She felt content and safe, but also a little sad because she didn't know when or if she would get the chance again. She looked up to find his gorgeous blue eyes staring down at her.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah, a little. Thank you for last night Damon, and for always being there when I need you."

Damon smirked, "Hey it's what I'm here for."

"I'm serious Damon. I wanted to call you last night, but I didn't and you showed up anyway."

"Why didn't you?" Damon asked looking into her eyes.

"I couldn't," Elena replied looking down. Damon put his finger under her chin and lifted her face so her eyes would meet his once again.

"You can always call me Elena. I know things have been a little weird since I kiss-"

"It's not that Damon," Elena cut him off.

"Then what is it?"

Elena looked away again.

"Right Stefan, always Stefan," Damon said and started to get up out of bed. "Don't worry Elena, I'm sure once he kills Klaus he'll be back to the old Stefan in no time and he'll be here to comfort you when you're upset."

"Damon stop, it's not like that," Elena was angry as she got up out of bed. "You're right Stefan was the reason I didn't call, but not because I would have rather had him here last night, it's because I wouldn't."

Damon stopped and looked up.

"I love Stefan, I always will, but I'm not in love with Stefan. Even if he kills Klaus, and magically turns back into the same old Stefan, things will never be the same between us again. Stefan and I are really over, because I've finally admitted something to myself."

"Yeah and what's that?" Damon asked.

"I'm in love with someone else. Damon the reason I couldn't call you last night is because I'm in love with you, but I can't be with you yet. We just got Stefan to turn his humanity back on, and us getting together might be enough for him to turn it off again. I can't be the reason you lose your brother. I can't be like Katherine."

Damon just stood there staring at her for a moment before he crossed the room and stood in front of her. He reached out and held her face in his hands making sure that she was looking at him.

"Elena you are nothing like Katherine. You are the most amazing, sweet, selfless person I have ever met; you always put the needs of everyone around you above your own. You gave your life to keep us all safe from Klaus. Even now you're more worried about my relationship with my brother than your own happiness. You never have to worry about becoming Katherine."

Elena felt the tears sting her eyes and then roll down her cheeks as Damon spoke. He looked at her tenderly and then wiped them away with his thumbs before placing a kiss to her forehead and pulling her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his waist and held him close to her, wishing that things were different and they could just be together now.

"So what do we do now?" She asked looking up at him.

"We help Stefan find a way to kill Klaus, and get him to a point where we're not in danger of him plunging off the deep end again, then I guess we just break it to him gently, it won't be easy and we'll have to give him some time to come terms with things before everything settles down and we can be together around him without it being awkward, but he loves you Elena, and Stefan in his right mind wouldn't do anything to make you unhappy. If you're really sure this is what you want, that being with me will make you happy, then Stefan will be Stefan, he'll play the martyr and let you go."

"Damon…" Elena glared up at him.

Damon just smirked and shrugged his shoulders, and then he got serious and looked down at her. "Look Elena I know firsthand what it's like to have to watch you be happy and in love with my brother when I want nothing more than for you to be happy and in love with me. It's hell, and the worst part of all this is, is that I am in no way good enough to be with you, but he is. You should be with Stefan and not me, he's the better guy, but I am in love with you. I will never hurt you and I will always be there for you. Even if you decide that you would rather go back to him."

"Damon…I love you, I'm in love with you," Elena started, taking his face in her hands. "You say that you don't deserve me and Stefan is the better person, but if you were such a bad person you wouldn't be here saying that, you wouldn't think about Stefan at all, you would just take what you want. You are a good person Damon. You saved me and this town more times than I can count, so don't act like you're not good enough to be loved!"

Elena once again had tears streaming down her face as she pulled Damon's mouth down to meet hers in a searing kiss. Damon pulled her closer to him and felt her body meld into his. He ran his tongue over her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to grant him access, their tongues fighting for dominance, both holding on to the other as tight as they could. When Elena pulled back to catch her breath Damon started kissing down her neck to her collarbone and back up to nibble her ear making her shiver. He loved seeing what he could do to her with so little effort but knew they couldn't continue or he wouldn't be able to stop. He placed one more soft sweet kiss on her lips and looked into her eyes that were hazy with passion. He smiled at her, a real smile and not his trademark smirk, and she smiled back up at him.

"I love you Damon."

"I love you Elena." He kissed the tip of her nose. "I should probably get going."

Elena nodded, "See you later?"

"Of course," he said as he slipped on his shoes and his leather jacket. He placed a soft kiss to her lips one last time and disappeared out the window.

**Well there is chapter two. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is Chapter 3. Hope you like it.**

**I don't own anything.**

_Dear Diary,_

_I think I screwed things up with Damon. I went to the private meeting with Esther, and Damon got so mad at me. We got into a fight at the party. Damon was mad at me because he loves me and I was possibly putting myself in danger, and I just got so mad that he didn't understand that I was doing this for us that I snapped and said the dumbest thing I could have possibly said and I didn't mean it at all. I said that maybe loving me was the problem, why did I say that? The look in his eyes broke my heart and I tried to explain but he wouldn't listen to me. He just walked away and now he won't answer his phone. I just want to talk to him and explain that I didn't mean what I said._

_Then to make matters worse, I gave Esther some of my blood to do a spell to bind all her children together so she can kill them. She says she hates what they've become, and she needs to reset the balance in nature. I feel terrible about it, especially about lying to Elijah. He doesn't deserve to die with the rest of his siblings, he's better than them. Elijah is an honorable man and I'm basically killing him by not telling him what I know. When did my life become so complicated? Would things be better for everyone if I just left Mystic Falls? Klaus would just follow me where ever I went so he could use me to make more hybrids. I'll never be able to escape all of this as long as he is alive. I want Esther to kill Klaus so that my life can be somewhat normal again, but why does she have to kill all of them?_

_I just want Damon. I know I hurt him tonight and it's killing me. Why does he have to be so stubborn? I know that he's waiting for me to change my mind about him and he probably thinks that I have already, but I haven't and I'm not going to. I am in love with him. Sometimes I wish I had met him first._

Elena stopped writing and stared out the window. She picked up her phone and tried Damon again, still no answer.

Elena hung up and made her way over to her bed with her phone in her hand. She lay down and pulled the covers over her as a few silent tears made their way down her cheeks. She felt like all she did was cry lately. She fell asleep a while later with her phone still in her hand hoping Damon would forgive her.

Damon sat at the bar of The Mystic Grill. Elena had tried to call a few times, but he didn't want to talk to her. He didn't understand her sometimes, a couple days ago she tells him she loves him and wants to be with him and tonight she says his loving her is causing problems. Apparently it makes him too emotional to be a part of her idiotic plans to meet with The Original Witch on her own. Who knows what could've happened to her up there. He finishes his bourbon and orders another one. Someone sits down to the left of him and orders a drink.

"Rough night?" Rick asks.

"You could say that," Damon says gulping down his drink and ordering another one. "She told me she loves me."

"Elena?"

"No the Queen of England," Damon replies sarcastically.

"So what the hell are you doing here?"

"We had a fight. She doesn't think about her safety, it's like she doesn't care what happens to her, and apparently it's a problem that this bothers me. My loving her is the problem because my emotions get in the way of her idiotic plans for self-destruction."

"Did you give her a chance to explain why she did whatever it was that she did tonight that has you sitting at a bar swimming in bourbon instead of being at the house with her?"

"I couldn't be with her anyway. She wants to wait until Stefan is more stable so he doesn't go off the deep end again, which means waiting until Klaus is dead. She actually accepted an invitation to a private meeting with Esther. Who knows what could've happened to her, pretty much everyone in that family has tried to kill her at one point in time or another, and she willing goes into a room alone with the Original Witch."

"Did you ask her why she did it? You know Elena, if she did something stupid and dangerous like that it's because she thought it would help. You're right she doesn't think about her own safety at all, but it's because she is always more worried about the safety of her family and friends."

"I know, but it's fucking infuriating when we are all fighting to keep her alive and she keeps putting herself in more danger to try to keep all of us safe."

"Yeah it is, but isn't that what you love about her? How good and selfless she is?"

"Damn it Ric," Damon says finishing his drink and setting it on the bar.

He throws some money on the bar and gets up to leave. He stops and turns back to where Ric is sitting at the bar still.

"Thanks."

"Wow a thank you from Damon Salvatore, did hell just freeze over?"

"Dick."

Ric's laughter follows him out of the building as makes his way to his car. He gets in and makes the short drive to her house. He parks out front and looks up at her window, its dark. He thinks about just going home and coming back tomorrow so he doesn't wake her up, but finds himself being drawn to her, and is standing in her bedroom within seconds.

As quietly as he can so he doesn't disturb her he removes his jacket and shoes and climbs into bed beside her pulling her to his chest. Elena sighs in her sleep and snuggles closer to Damon. He places a light kiss to her hair and closes his eyes falling asleep with her in his arms.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Sorry this update has taken so long. **

**I don't own anything.**

Dark clouds hung over Mystic Falls, thunder clapped outside the window startling Elena awake. She was confused at first as to why she couldn't move, and looked down to find two arms wrapped around her. She turned in Damon's arms to face him, wondering when he had come in the night before.

"Damon," she said as she put her hand to his chest and started to lightly shake him to wake him up. He pulled her in closer to him in reaction.

"Huh?" he mumbled in to her hair breathing in her scent and not wanting to wake up and let go yet.

"When did you get here? I tried calling you and you didn't answer. I thought you were mad at me."

"I was mad at you; I didn't answer because I didn't want to talk to you, and then I talked to Ric and he said you probably had some reason for doing what you did and I should give a chance to explain. So, I came over here, but you were asleep and I was drunk, so I stayed."

"I do have a reason for doing what I did. Esther didn't want to hurt me. She apologized for everything her children have done to me, and told me that she upset the balance of nature when she created them, and she wants to put it right. She needed some of my blood to do a spell to bind them all together so that she can kill them. I didn't mean what I said about you loving me being a problem. I know going to see Esther was a risk, but it was a risk I was willing to take to end all of this and be with you."

Damon sat up and looked down at her when she had finished talking.

"I want to get this over with and be with you to Elena, more than anything, but what if she had needed more than just a few drops of your blood to bind the spell? What if she needed a doppelganger sacrifice? Maybe it's just me, but I think you dying would kind of put a damper on our relationship. So, unless you want to drink some of my blood before every stupid, dangerous plan you have, maybe you should start being a little more careful, because none of this matters if you're dead. All of it would've been for nothing," he said to her forcefully. He hadn't meant to be some blunt and callous with her, but he was still upset with her for taking that meeting in the first place.

Elena sat there stunned; she felt tears well up in her eyes. She really hadn't thought about what would have happened had Esther tried to kill her. She was so willing to do anything to be with Damon that she hadn't even thought about her own safety, and Damon was right, how could she be with him if she was dead? She had never wanted to be a vampire.

"I'm sorry," she said, tears spilling over her eyes, making trails down her cheeks. "I didn't think."

Damon pulled her in close to him. "Don't cry. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. It's ok; I just want you to be more careful. I don't want to lose you before we can even get started."

Elena calmed down and looked up at Damon. "There's more. I don't feel right about what Esther is doing. I don't think Elijah deserves to die, he's not like the others."

"Elena, you can't get involved. Esther didn't hurt you last night but that doesn't mean that she won't if you interfere with her plans. I know you like Elijah, I don't know why, but this is our best shot of getting rid of Klaus, and let's not forget that Rebekah wants you dead."

"I know that but I gave her my blood to bind them. I don't want to be responsible for killing my friend. Isn't there anything we can do?"

"I really don't know what we could do, they're already bound together. To unbind Elijah we would have to unbind them all."

"Maybe not, maybe Bonnie could find something, some way to unbind just Elijah."

"You think Elijah is going to let his whole family be killed. The reason Klaus is still alive right now is because he promised to reunite Elijah with his family, he's not going to be let them killed for good while he is saved."

"You're right, I just don't want to be responsible for this."

"Elena, this is not your fault."

"I gave her my blood Damon! I bound them together!"

"Elena, do you really think that she would've taken no for an answer? If you had refused to help her I'm sure she would've had no problem killing you to get the blood to bind them together. You can't blame yourself for this," Damon hugged Elena to him. "Please don't do anything stupid. Just stay home today, ok? Promise me you'll stay home today."

"I promise. Will you stay with me?"

"I have some things to take care of but I will be back later, ok?" Damon asked, kissing the top of her head and getting up from the bed. He pulled on his boots and his jacket.

"Ok," Elena said sitting on the edge of the bed watching him.

"I'll see you in a little while," he said and placed a soft kiss to her lips, and then he was gone.

Elena got up and walked to the bathroom and turned on the shower. She quickly showered and dressed and headed downstairs. She opened the fridge and grabbed the orange juice and opened the cupboard to get a glass when she heard a knock on the door. She put down the orange juice and went to the door and opened it but didn't see anyone. Then she saw the paper on the steps and figured that was the noise she heard. She stepped out on the porch to retrieve it and felt someone grab her from behind. Her head slammed into the side of the house and her world went black.

Elena slowly started to come to. Her head was pounding and her vision was blurry. She blinked a few times to clear it. She took in her surroundings and it looked like she was in a cave. _What the hell happened?_

"Hello Elena," said a voice from the darkness, and someone stepped out of the shadows. "How's your head?"

Another person came out of the shadows to stand by the first. "You'll have to forgive my sister, she gets carried away. Now why don't you tell me what you and mother really talked about."

"Elijah?"


End file.
